


Stay with Me

by Kerica



Series: Solahss with Shakarian [2]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Foreshadowing, Goodbyes, Mutual Pining, Post-Mass Effect 1, Soul Bond, Soulmates, solahss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-24 23:45:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14366304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kerica/pseuds/Kerica
Summary: For the Theme - First Goodbye----She'd watched so many die, and said goodbye to a lot more.Yet the others didn’t feel like she was ripping apart her soul.She was the first person to hear him out at every angle. Yet here she is, telling him they have to part ways.His soul was crying out, and it felt like it was being torn to shreds.





	Stay with Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [caprithebunny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/caprithebunny/gifts).



Kerica Shepard had said a lot of goodbyes in her life. So many she felt as if she should be used to it by now. Hell, at one point she had been.

Kaidan had been heart-wrenching and she may have destroyed things when she got back on the Normandy that night. A ‘goodbye’ hadn’t been said, exactly, but they had all known.

Triumph and pride was what filled her more than anything when Wrex announced going back to Tuchanka. Lots of back-slapping and cheers and clinking of alcohol on that one. That goodbye was the best one yet, which was really strange but good. Very good.

Saying goodbye to Tali had been an experience. After alerting the Flotilla, a Quarian Ship had made its way to the Citadel to pick her up. There had been so many hugs all around. A few tears between Tali, Ashley, Liara and Chakwas. Shepard and Joker did _not_ sniff. Nope.

Liara’s departure to go to Illium hadn’t been as sad as Kerica thought it would be. They’d shared one night of passion together and nothing was awkward. Yet, there was already an acceptance that they would inevitably part ways. It was familiar, the detachment, but it still made her heart hurt on some level.

Garrus…

The rubble from Sovereign had been removed, repairs were being done, but no word on what was being done with the remains. The Normandy was still operational. Kerica had places to go, errands to run. Garrus had his own life to live. She had put his name in for the Spectres and hoped the word would come around to surprise him. It would make him happy. It was the only reason why she didn’t take him up on his offer to be a permanent part of the Normandy.

She didn’t want him under her command forever. She wanted him to find out he had a chance to be a Spectre like her and meet her in the midst of the stars on his own ship. No red tape, no one in his way, his biggest dream come true. She’d allow him on her ship if he really wanted after his training and once he was initiated. At least then, they would be on equal ground.

She could let go, stop holding back and tell him…

Shit, it hurt.

They stood here on the platform staring at each other while she spaced out and through of the future. The Normandy was ready and waiting. Kerica wanted to grasp her chest and double over in pain. Yet she held firm. “You should get outta here, big guy.” She told him instead of everything else.

“Why?” Garrus was pushing. Why couldn’t he come with her? He didn’t understand. He had nothing better to do. The thought of going back to C-sec felt like drowning. “I can do so much more if I stick with you.”

“No, Garrus. There’s people here who could probably use your help, too. You had a life before I came along. I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Kerica shrugged. Play it cool while the world crumbled.

 _‘That wasn’t_ **_living_ ** _. I don’t remember what it was like before you came along and ripped up everything from the roots.’_ It was what he wanted to tell her, but Garrus kept it hidden. Why did it already feel like the future was bleak? Why were his feet rooted to the spot? Why couldn’t he just take her goodbye and _leave_ like she clearly wanted? “I suppose you’re right. Don’t forget to give me a call when you come back around? We can hit Chora’s Den or Flux?”

His playful mandible flutter was his version of a smirk and Kerica felt like melting. This man. “Well yeah, of course. I’m always down for a good drink.” She gave him a wink and popped her hip, waving at him, “See you around, _Vakarian_.”

“Sure thing, _Commander_ .” Garrus caught her tease and waved back, but barely, “Be safe out there.” _‘Come back soon.’_

“You know me, I’m hard to kill.” Kerica laughed and each step further away from him felt like she was wading through water: deeper, heavier, harder.

She’d see him soon. She had to keep telling herself that. The others may or may not have been permanent goodbyes. Garrus’ certainly was not a permanent goodbye.

_Yet the others didn’t feel like she was ripping apart her soul._

Garrus had watched her as she had essentially said goodbye to Kaidan on Virmire. He had said goodbye to Tali, Wrex and Liara alongside Shepard. Then he had said goodbye to everyone on the Normandy.

None of those could compare how it felt to now, as he was saying goodbye to her.

_His soul was crying out, and it felt like it was being torn to shreds._


End file.
